“Scream & Shout” – will.i.am feat. Britney Spears

In “About My Blog” I stated that I want starcollecteur to primarily be a place to discover new music that you love and to reminisce about old music that you love.  I also admitted that every now and then I might indulge in a “so bad it’s good” moment.  One of those moments is happening right now.  I wouldn’t say this is so bad it’s good; I’d say this is so mediocre it’s mediocre.  I’ve only watched the video once and I realized immediately that I must preserve my scientific observations for posterity.  I’m not trying to be a jerk.  I’m simply saying that when you have millions of dollars at your disposal, and therefore access to the best of everything that the music industry has to offer, what you put out for public consumption should be superior.  I refuse to be an enabler and say, “Oh, yeah, that’s nice, will.i.am!  You’re such an innovator.”  No.  I won’t do it.

If this song becomes a hit, I’m going to lose my freaking mind.  Can’t even yell at will.i.am for the beat, as it turns out this was produced by Basto.  I’ll be honest.  I don’t know enough about him one way or the other to comment.  Fact is the beat is fine but nothing special.

This song is one big denouement.  NOTHING HAPPENS!  Not musically, not lyrically, nothing happens in the video… I AM BORED.

OBSERVATIONS (Follow along with the video, or don’t.  It’s fun for all ages either way!):

1) “I like this butterfly…and this butterfly…”

2) Triangle = Illuminati.

3) I personally have no control over the volume of music played in the club.

4) Britney has a horrific and pointless British accent.

5) You need will.i.am’s i.am+ camera enhancer.  It comes in cool colors/patterns!

6) I wouldn’t mind an iPad hooked up to an old-fashioned typewriter.

7) The “Britney, bitch” sample from “Gimme More.”  She barely even needed to show up to the studio to be “featured” in this song.

8) You should really look into a waterproof case for your phone.

9) Robot hand.

10) will.i.am is the king of something or other.

11) Flares attached to a champagne bottle.  EXPLODE!

12) The gold axe is all right.

13) Louboutins.

14) Bring the ax-tion.  Ha!  Get it?  He says, “action,” while we see a disco ball being smashed with an ax.  Coincidence?

15) Britney only dances with her upper body now.

16) Beats by Dre products are fire/explosion hazards.

17) You need one of will.i.am’s ode to DeLorean cars.

18) Replica of will.i.am’s head made of wax or resin or something.

19) Maschine.

20) Live mounted human heads.

21) Use a net to capture a gold statue of a lady.  The net is unnecessary.  But fun!

22) Gold!

Pretty hilarious, actually.  Certainly random.  But, all in all, just one long commercial.  And just in time for the holidays!

To be fair, I did also listen to the song alone without the video.  I enjoy the harmonies in the chorus.  The song is FINE.  I ain’t mad at it.  But I wouldn’t waste a stamp to mail a handwritten letter on my personalized stationery to my mom about it.

In summary: Underwhelmed.  See Brit’s facial expression below.

~ by starcollecteur on November 30, 2012.

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